Tag: #edit

Day 45 of 100 Days to a Book

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

I am within the 7th week of this 14 and a half week course, and things are getting harder. I usually write at least 1,000 words every weekday and have the weekend off, except for Saturday morning when I spend about 4 hours Saturday morning critiquing 3 to 4 people’s submissions that they had updated on Fridays.

We have to submit every Friday somewhere in the region of 2,500 to 7,500 words each week. By the 19th June which is the final submission day, we should have 65,000 words. Moreover, a finished first draft of our novels.

I did start my novel by pantsing it, and after about 15,000 words I did not know where the story was going. So I stopped and thought that I should outline the story of my novel. I also looked at the different genres of crime fiction and opted for the hardboiled detective.

The Write Practice has given me room for thought on where my novel is set and where I get my ideas. It is true that if you help other writers by critiquing their submissions, then you receive help back from them. The outline is relatively basic, so when I come to write that section, it is still open to a significant amount of change that comes to my mind when I go through the scene.

My First Draft Update

~ Philip Shepherd ~ 1 Comment

This update is about my progress to my first draft of my first novel in crime fiction. I am on Day 38 of 100 on a course called Write a Book in 100 Days, by The Write Practice.
Here are my observations:
1. The course is $100 more expensive, but if you complete your weekly deadlines of posting the 4,500 words you wrote during that week for 15 weeks, then you will have the money returned. While you reach a total of 65,000 words after 100 days.
I have to say, this type of deadline pressure does help you find the time and actually to meet the word count. Although, you can miss two deadlines of the course and still receive the $100 refund.
2. There are about 140 students on this course, and we are embedded in groups of 10 people. Each week on Fridays I have to submit my chapter. Before the next Friday, I have to read at least three other people’s submissions and critique their work.
This critique of 2000 to 7000 words is not as easy as it sounds. As it is a first draft then spelling, grammar and punctuation is not an issue. Not even ‘Show, don’t tell’ is an issue you can highlight.
I often write at the top of my submission that all I am interested in is how fast it is progressing and what the voice of the narration sounds like to the reader.
I have to congratulate Joe Bunting in creating such a helpful course.

Why We Critique

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

It’s simple to avoid giving this kind of feedback for a lot of reasons. It can be incredibly time-consuming. This morning at 9 am I started to critique three separate chapters from three different people. Each chapter was around four thousand words long. I had not only to read but understand and interpret the chapter. After that, I had to find two things I liked so that I could sandwich the constructive critique between them. It can also be challenging to provide a robust feedback to a writer you don’t know very well or at all. It would be easier just to say, “Great story!” but that is not helpful, in any way at all. When you give feedback to an author, you help them develop and learn more about what styles and interactions help information to be passed on to the reader.

The First Line Fears

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

The first sentence in a novel is more critical than it appears. What is the author’s intention when a reader starts a book of a few hundred pages?
I intend to create a reader that starts to use their imagination and brings up questions that arise when the subject of the story takes them into areas that intrigue them. I’m writing in first person narration and found a few opening sentences that are remembered worldwide:
“I’m pretty much fucked.” – The Martian by Andy Weir.
“Call me Ishmael.” – Moby Dick by Herman Melville.
“I am an invisible man.” – Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.

A first sentence should give the reader an insight as to what is going to come within the story and a few questions.

100 Days to a First Draft

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

Next week begins the 100 days course that should help me produce my first draft. The WritePractice is helping me.
My novel did start its way by pantsing. I got to about 14000 words and lost my way. It was at this time I sat back and thought I should outline, and do some research into the subject areas within my story.
Firstly I did a Creative writing course on Udemy and found out my English was fairly bad. That needed some work and practice. My comma splices were plentiful but that got corrected by sentence diagrams which I learned through the English Grammar Revolution.

As my intended protagonist was a private investigator; I did a foundation course on being a private investigator by Rockwell Private Investigators.
Being sure my P.I. was going to encounter dead bodies; I did a Forensic Science and Profiling course, that was very interesting and cheap as I got it from GroupOn.

While all this was going on, I researched what was favourable about Shakespeare and why his work is still popular after four hundred years. I came across the rhythm of English and the Iambic pentameter, that was used by William Shakespeare, the master of the Iam.
I also looked at memorable characters in movies and tv and why they were so accepted. For instance; Basil Fawlty, the worst, hateful owner of a hotel in history, but he was admired so much, why?

Word Counts & POV

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

WORD COUNT
The word count is how long you want the finished manuscript. It’s always beneficial to have a rough guess of this, as it helps you outline and plan your story as a whole piece of work. Much of the time it ends up to the writer themselves and how long they envision the story being. However, there is a rough estimate for word count lengths of adult fiction stories:
– Short story: 500 – 10,000 words.
– Novella: 10,000 – 40,000 words
– Novel: 40,000 – over
– Adult Fiction (commercial and literary): 80,000 – 100,000 words
– Science and Fantasy Fiction: 90,000 – 150,000 words
– Romance: 50,000 – 100,000 words
– Historical Fiction: 70,000 – 100,000 words
– Crime/Mystery/Thriller/Horror Fiction: 70,000 – 90,000 words
– Young Adult Fiction: 50,000 – 80,000
– Non-Fiction: is different.

POV
The Point Of View or POV is the view that your story comes from, and how you tell it. There are four main POV’s:
* First Person POV – This is a narration of one character’s view. Within the story, the text is not allowed to show anyone else’s thoughts or anything the narrator cannot see, hear, feel or smell. The narrator is always in every scene as they are telling the story. Things should always be told in the past tense.
* Second Person POV – This is instructions like; You say, “Blah, blah.” You have an idea of what the event is as you use your imagination by taking the instructions and feeling what it would be like if you, the reader were to do those things. It’s not good for long novels but is more suited to short stories.
* Third Person POV, limited – Third person limited point of view is a method of storytelling in which the storyteller or narrator knows only the thoughts, feelings and scenes of a single character, while other characters are presented externally. Third person limited presents a writer more independence than the first person, but less knowledge than third person omniscient.
* Third Person POV, omniscient – The third person omniscient point of view is a way of storytelling where the narrator knows the thoughts, feelings and senses of all of the characters in the story. This third person is not the same as the third-person limited, a point of voice that adheres strictly to one character’s perspective, it’s usually the protagonist.

Manuscript Format on Submission

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

1. The manuscript you submit should be printed on standard, 8 ½” x 11” 20 lb paper on one side of the page only. (This is standard American paper, evidently, in the UK an A4 size page will suffice, but be sure to ask the publisher or agent. )

2. Remember to double-space your manuscript, just like a PhD thesis or journal paper, and indent the paragraphs or when dialogue five spaces. (This is the most important rule. The double spacing is easier to read and also adds room for critique notes.)

3. Use a 12 point font Courier or Times Roman, but always check the publisher or agent’s guidelines before your submission.

4. Be sure to only use white paper for your manuscript and proper business stationery for the cover letter. Don’t send work in pretty envelopes with art or images from your website on them. The publisher or agent will not care about your smart associations because they will not read the story.

5. Mark each page with a page number and include a header with your last name, a word from the title, and page number. A busy editor may drop a pile of manuscripts on the floor; you want it to be quickly reassembled in order.

6. Don’t send your query letters out without fully researching the agency or publisher. RESEARCH THIS CAREFULLY. The top reason for rejection is the manuscript doesn’t fit for the publishing house or agency. So make sure that the publisher or agent handles the genre of books you are submitting. Consult a market guide, but also try to dig a little deeper than that. Don’t worry; it will pay off.

7. Get names. Do not send your letter to ‘ Dear Sir,’ so take a minute and phone the agent or publisher, if you must, to find out to whom you are to address your submission. In the end, always read the submission guidelines.

8. If in any doubt, always query first. This is particularly true if you are looking for an agent. If they are curious about your project, they will then request more materials.

9. Only send what is requested. Don’t send any gifts, bribes or promotional supplies with your package. Don’t submit summaries for the manuscripts that you may have in the drawer when they’ve only asked to see one document.

10. Spend the same time and energy on the submission package as you did on your manuscript. Be sure to make it as sharp as possible. This submission is your sales tool. Also, have the help of critique partners and writer friends in making it perfect.

Remove unnecessary words

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

On a different note to my regular diatribe, passive voice can also make your writing more concise, strangely enough, by removing unnecessary words, i.e. information that isn’t required to get the message across or are unimportant.
“John Doe was hit by a car and then rushed to hospital.”
“John Doe and what happened to him is the focus of this sentence, not the thing that hit him.”
Additionally, it isn’t important how he got to a hospital, only that he’s there. (I’m particularly upset at ending a sentence with a preposition) 
This passive construction is much more efficient than;
“A car hit John Doe, and then an ambulance rushed him to a hospital,” which sounds as awkward as ‘passive’ sounds when ‘active’ should be used.
It isn’t vague like passive can be, but it isn’t concise, either. Another example is “John Doe was charged with the murder of his wife, Jane,” which sounds much simpler than “Police charged John Doe with the murder of his wife, Jane,” or even “Sergeant James Ryan charged John Doe with the murder of his wife, Jane,” where it isn’t clear whose wife Jane is. (or this one)

If writing a short story that only should contain 1500 words then you could look for the words that just add completeness like;

“John sat down and read a book.”  –  6 words

“John sat and read a book.”  –  5 words

There is sat down and stud up.

Improve Your Writing

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

Some quick helping points that can improve the very next piece you write.


1. Know your reader, and this means more than knowing a few demographics (how old they are, their average income, etc.). To know your readers means you understand their fears, frustrations, and aspirations. Writing from the reader’s perspective will dramatically change the way you write.
2. Know your objective.
3. The pieces you write like blog posts, press release, video script, or anything else, need have only one aim. I can call this objective the Most Desired Result, or “MDR.” Knowing your MDR forces you to write with crystal-clear focus.
4. Use short words; you don’t need a thesaurus.
5. To convince, you must be clear to understand. Utilising short words is one of the best ways to make your meaning clear. So, don’t show off how many big words you can use.
6. Use short sentences. Your thoughts come across more clearly in short sentences. A bonus is that short sentences prevent you from confusing your readers.
7. Use short paragraphs.
8. Let’s imagine you come to a webpage filled with a large block of text. There are no paragraph breaks. Are you likely to read it? Most people would say no. Make your writing skimmable, scannable, and scrollable. Use short paragraphs.
9. Use active language.
10. Active language is powerful and interesting. In contrast, passive language is tedious. How do you identify which is which? In an active sentence, the subject is performing the acting: “Bill fixes cars.” But in a passive sentence, the target of the action becomes the subject of the sentence. For instance, instead of saying, “Bill fixes cars,” I might say, “The cars are fixed by Bill.” 
Passive language presents your idea inadequately. It does feel “backwards.” Also, it is more difficult for many readers to understand. Write with power. Use active language.
11. Write recklessly, re-write ruthlessly.
12. When you eventually write your first draft, it’s okay if it’s appalling. In other words, write carelessly. After you have your first draft on a document (or in memory), filled with strength and power, you can clean up any “messes” you might’ve made. Be ruthless when you edit and re-write.

Passive and Active Voice in Writing

~ Philip Shepherd ~ Leave a comment

When you write a sentence, it can either be written in the passive voice or the active voice.
* The active voice describes a sentence where the subject performs the action stated by the verb. For example, ‘Brian replaced the flat tyre’.
* The passive voice describes a sentence where the subject is acted upon by the verb. For instance, ‘The flat tyre was replaced by Brian’.
In most cases, writing sentences in a passive voice is discouraged because it can obscure the subject of the sentence, and mislead the reader. It also regularly creates a wordy and clumsy sentence construction.

Defining Passive Voice
Every sentence contains, at a minimum, a subject and an action. The subject is the person or thing the sentence is about, and the action is what the subject is doing.
When the sentence is in the active voice, the subject is doing the action, and the subject typically arises before the action in the sentence. For example:
* I run. I is the subject. Run is the action. The subject doing the action appears before the action, so it is clear to the reader who is doing what.
When a sentence is in a passive voice, the subject is being acted upon by the verb, and the subject usually appears after the action. In an example:
* Running is something I do. Here, the action is Running, and the subject is I. The sentence is in a passive voice because the person doing the action (I) is not introduced until after the action.
Sometimes sentences also contain objects – or the thing being acted upon. This can make it more difficult to define whether the sentence is in a passive voice. For example, here is a sentence in an active voice:
* Philip hits the ball. ‘Philip’ is the subject. ‘Hits’ is the action. So the ‘ball’ is the object.
That same sentence in passive voice reads:
* The ball is hit by Philip.
* The ball is the object – which is not the subject of the sentence because the ball is not doing the action. Therefore, it should be after the subject (Philip)

Tips to Recognise the Passive Voice
Often a sentence in passive voice does not inevitably sound “incorrect” or wordy. However, it is still proper to write in active voice when possible.
To recognise that a sentence is in a passive voice, watch out for these keywords:

* Be
* Is
* Are
* A
* Was
* Were
* Has been
* Have been
* Will be
* Being